Oh my God!

You may remember a few weeks back I suspected my husband was having an affair! Well, 2 weeks ago he admitted it! He has been seeing someone since 18th Oct and it has finished on 8.12.07. He met her through work and had had regular meetings with her, staying at hotels, her house all whilst I thought he was away with work. She lives in Basingstoke and we live in Cardiff.

He tried to end it on 22.11.07 but she said he can keep her and his wife...what kind of woman does that.. Looking at his messages, she has been hounding him and I can see what he would be interested in! Ever text is about sex. I can't condone his actions and we've obviously sepertated which is really bad timing before xmas for the kids but I will ot stand for it but when you have woman like that around you have no chance!

The affair has now ended and he says it was just a sex and attention thing. It stated as a one night stand and developed over the next few weeks. They had sex most times they met with exception of the meeting they had to finish things. Does this mean it's all about sex? Can it be anymore? She feels like they are both madly in love? Is this possible in 6 weeks?

Whilst we have not argued, we haven't really seen eachother for the last 12 months because he works days and me evenings, I get home at 11p.m, he leave before 7a,m and he's in bed when I get home so I whilst I can not agree with what he has done I know exactly what has caused it.

I feel a mess! I feel responsible and can't believe I'm in this mess. The woman is a complete fruit cake, she is constantly calling and texting saying she loves him and she know's he loves her. He has told her that he loves his wife and will fight to get her back but she says history will repeat itself and he is making a huge mistake - - - who is she to say that? I don't actually want him, she's welcome to him. He's even had e-mails from her mother going mad about the situation and she drove from Basingstoke to Cardiff at 1a.m in the morning to some to my house...I really can't bear this anymore! She hasn't made contact since 2 dys ago but I'm just waiting. I feel like I've had no sleep or food for the last 2 weeks.

Sorry to share my problem but I can't stop thinking about it and I'm going in sane!

dont blame yourself for what as happened.that is the first thing you need to undetstand - he did it, not you. i know its bad timing with xmas a few days away but you need to be strong for the kids.

this woman says they are madly in love - i presume its just the whole excitement of being caught plus the lust that mixed her feelings up to make her think theyre in love, but how does this womans mother know!! has your fella met the mother? you can do alot better than him. you were both working long hours,you were both not getting quality time together, you were both like passing ships - but you never had the urge to go off with another man, theres no excuse for what he has done so please, stop thinking its you - it was him, he did it on his own back, and he needs a bloody good beating if u ask me!! pick yourself up for the kids sake and prove to him you dont need someonelike him - i know it probably feels like 'should you take him back for the kids' 'he will change' - the never change.if they have done it once, the temptation is always there again!

you and your kids make the most of xmas and as a new years resolution - be strong and live a happy life, make time for yourself - even if its just a few hours.

Awwwwwwwww hunny I am so sorry to read what has happened, he has behaved disgracefully.
I understand that you rarely see each other because of work etc but that is NO EXCUSE for starting an affair with another woman.
Just focus on you and your children now babe, make sure they have a great Christmas, if he wants you back then make him work bloody hard.
As for this other woman, she does sound rather mixed up and infatuated, but if its all aboput sex then anything they think they have got will fizzle out rather quickly.
You are much better than her hunny, always remember that, big hugs and pm me if you ever need someone to chat to ok xxxx

Aww hunny so sorry to hear this. The woman sounds like a nutter!You may of both had a busy life style but him going all the way down there is stupid when he could of made time for you at home. If he was unhappy he should of spoke to you, you didn't have an affair.

Anyway you take care of yourself and your children. See how things go, don't rule out the idea of getting back together sometimes something like this can bring you closer even if it doesn't seem like it babe. If he wants to be with you then he better make it up and start giving you the respect and time you need.

We are always here to listen and we wouldn't want this eating away at you so you just let everything out and don't be sorry

Well he has literally made his bed, and now he has to lie in it and suffer the consecquences! The woman sounds a nutter, if he wanted you back, why doesn't he change his phone number or bar her calls, block her email address, get an injuction out against her? If a man did this to a woman he would be a stalker, this is no different!

Everyone else is right, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Stick to your guns and don't let him me ever make you feel at fault for this.

Sending lots of hugs to you and the kids xx

So sorry to hear what you're going through. It's a shame what people can do to those they're supposed to love. I hope you find the strength you need to get back on your feet again.