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Spank or Not Spank

NewJersey13NewJersey13
posted 1 year 4 months ago
I was spanked as a child but my husband was not. We are trying to decide how we want to discipline our children. Although my husband was not spanked, he says he was yelled at a lot. Now, as an adult it really bothers him for someone to raise their voice at him. Because, I was spanked as a child, I think the experience caused me to not to share things with my parents. I was fearful of what their response would be. I don't want my children to grow up fearful or scared to share things with me that is going on in their lives. However; I want them to be respectful and teach them right from wrong. What are your feelings on discipline?


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Akiram13Akiram13
posted 1 year 4 months ago
There is no manual on how to raise children. I am a strict mother. I have three daughters which worries me up and down. I only discipline when needed and depending on the circumstamces decides the consequence. If something big its a spanking if something small its standing in a corner or taking away something.


I teach them and remind them to be respectful. I let them or warn them when they do something I do not like to see. If you are religious putting fear of GOD is also a good way to help raise them.


But how you raise your kids is differently up to you and your husband. We are not all the same and its a part of being a parent. Smile

mamaJenmamaJen
posted 1 year 4 months ago
It's tough being a parent. Like you said there is no manual for this job. I never wanted to spank my children, but lately my five-year-old has become a little smart mouth. Yelling at me, saying no and being sassy. I try really hard to be nice when I ask him to do something, but he seems to just ignore me. I remember my brothers getting spanked a lot, but they were older. I do not recall being spanked, but I could just be blocking it out. I'm not sure if it really helps. I mean; I don't want my kids to listen to me just because they are afraid that I'm going to spank them. Oh my it is a hard decision to make.

MelissavdW27MelissavdW27
posted 1 year 4 months ago

Akiram13 said:
There is no manual on how to raise children. I am a strict mother. I have three daughters which worries me up and down. I only discipline when needed and depending on the circumstamces decides the consequence. If something big its a spanking if something small its standing in a corner or taking away something.


I teach them and remind them to be respectful. I let them or warn them when they do something I do not like to see. If you are religious putting fear of GOD is also a good way to help raise them.


But how you raise your kids is differently up to you and your husband. We are not all the same and its a part of being a parent. Smile
I completely agree with you and I use this method as well. I see how severe the action is and what kind of repercussion is needed. My LO is 2 years old now, and with some things spanking doesn't work but standing in the corner does and sometimes the other way around. I am a firm believer in spanking when it is deserved and not over doing it. There is a huge difference between spanking your child and beating the living daylight out of him/ her. And I implemented the age old method of counting to 3...ha ha ha...she knows by now, I warn her to stop, if she doesn't I start counting, and when I say 3, she either gets spanked or sent to the corner. A couple of days ago I actually warned her to stop, when she didn't I asked her "Should I start counting?" her response: "No mamma" and she stopped with what she was doing wrong.

BarbieDollBarbieDoll
posted 1 year 4 months ago
I tried spanking but it didn't really work. Strangely what works for us is a timeout in the bathroom, which the door open. I can't believe how easy it is and how much the terrible Timeout is feared! I count 1 2 3 and if no compliance then bathroom timeout. I can't believe it works! Maybe I am just lucky. But the timeout has been really effective for us as compared to spanking, which just seemed to be angry and combative.

rz3300rz3300
posted 1 year 3 months ago
Well this certainly is an age old question that I really think has no answer. It all depends on your style of parenting and your family and how you were raised and the level of punishment and all of that, and there is no one answer for one child. I personally did not spank my kids, but I do not make it out to seem like I never laid a finger on them. It is all about feeling open and honest and loving in the relationship, and that is all that matters.

ArthnelArthnel
posted 1 year 3 months ago
I think it's hard to see a child cry but I always ask myself if it will be worth it in the end to have the child do whatever they want to do and then hurt themselves and me in the process. My daughter has taught me immense patience and I'm grateful for that. She does crazy things at times even when told no. I'm not having my child become a spoilt and sassy. So when I spank her I try to explain. She is never short of hugs and I love rewarding her when she does good things. I talk to her and spend time with her as much as I can. but when she falls out of line, of course I spank her and then keep on loving her some more.

purplepen88purplepen88
posted 1 year 3 months ago
I have to say I do not agree with spanking a child. Spanking is an ineffective means of discipline. It really does nothing to change behaviour except make them feel fearful of being hit or fearful of a parent. It is also dangerous in that spanking could hurt your child or warp his understanding how to interact with others. When you spank your child for something they have done wrong you are essentially modeling for them how to handle a situation. You now have shown them that violence towards others is Ok. Think if they did this same thing at school. If you child was angered by another child and hit them in response they would be suspended. This is straight out abuse of child and should never happen. If you are so angry with your child that you think you would hit them as the adult you need to walk away and calm down.

JosiePJosieP
posted 1 year 3 months ago
I am 100% against hitting children. To each their own, I won't shame a parent for not having all the tools they could have to parent without it, but I personally choose to treat my children the way I would want to be treated and I remember how I felt when being spanked and how unfair it was. Even then I knew there were better approaches and I handle things with the utmost respect for my children now because of it. There is always a way to guide our children without shame and degradation.

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