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Age gaps between kids?

Amelia88Amelia88
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I am curious to know for those of you who have more than one child, what's the age gap between your children? How have you found it to work out for your family in terms of jealousy and so forth?

We have a daughter who just turned one about a month ago. We would like to have a sibling for her at some point, but it's difficult because my husband has to move around a bit for work - and we aren't sure where his contract will put him next (we are scheduled to move in a year and a half). I'm mindful of having two too close together - not sure how I would handle that - but I'm also mindful of waiting too long as I'm not getting any younger!

What are your thoughts?


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morgoodiemorgoodie
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I have two children, a girl and a boy, that are 15 months apart. It was very difficult in the beginning because an infant is very needy so it seemed like I was ignoring my toddler a lot of times. Being a single parent didn't help the matter either. But I got lots of help from my sister and that made it a little bit easier. I think it was and is nice that they are close in age. They share a lot of the same interests and know the same people. They are very close even though sometimes they would not admit that to anyone.
I think that the amount of time between children is up to the parents and whatever is going on in their lives. Its different for everyone and I think that you have to analyze what would fit best with you and your family. Good luck and enjoy them as much as you can because time flies by and before you know it they are 10. At least that is how it is in my case.

moneymakingmoneymaking
posted 1 year 6 months ago
My first and second children are 2 1/2 years apart, and the children following are between 13 and 18 months apart. I did not see any jealousy but I also made sure to include the older child with as many things as I could when the new baby arrived. I defiantly felt the larger age gap more. They have been close, however not as close as the others until they became teens. They would play close for months, and then the older one would be too advanced and move on. It was a process. The older child was defiantly more helpful with the age gap. However, the ones that were closer in age were a lot closer continuously. The ones that are the closest in age makes me think of twins. They were completely inseparable until the older one went to kindergarten. The youngest one missed her so much. He would save his treats during the day to share with her when she got home from school; even though he had other siblings he could have shared with. They are both in school now and still inseparable. Both the older two and the younger two are boy/girl siblings.
It is harder the closer they are in age, however the bonds I have seen are amazing. So I would choose closer again.

WidowWidow
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I have four children. The boys are 15 and 17 while the girls are 9 and 11.

The boys got along great until they reached teenage years and now they seem to not be able to stand each other. That could simple be a teenager thing, the fact that one is fixing to graduate, or that they're two completely different children.

The girls get along well too.

The problem comes into play between the age gaps of the boys versus the girls. Things the boys want to do, the girls are not old enough to do. Things the girls want to do, the boys have no interest in or are too old to want to do.

purplepen88purplepen88
posted 1 year 6 months ago
My kids are 6 and half years apart. Both are boys so it's great in terms of toys and clothes. My oldest was an only child for so long but we enjoyed every minute of it. He was totally fine when his baby brother came along. I waited so long to have my second as my first was a premie and it was a hard time for us. When my son got to be school age and more independent was when I was finally ready to have another child. I love having them far apart. My oldest was in school full time when my second was born so I really got to enjoy my mat leave. My oldest can now babysit my youngest which is fantastic. They are just getting to an age where they can play sports together. My youngest is now 6 and my oldest is 13. My oldest is very independent now so we can do lots of things and give our attention to our youngest.

sheebah7sheebah7
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I have a bit of an age gap between my two girls and my only boy. This causes many rifs in parenting. On one hand I have to prepare the house for adolescents and almost tween as well as safety proof for small toddlers. I have an eleven year old and a nine year old, and my youngest is three. This is a bit of a challenge at time, especially getting these kids to help clean up the house. Right now my husband and I are waiting to move and we are sharing a two bedroom one bathroom apartment. This is so hard to do but we must make the best of it for a couple more months. Hopefully moral in the house will pick up when everyone has their own space, plus I need my own bathroom pronto.

Amelia88Amelia88
posted 1 year 6 months ago
@Morgoodie that's great that your little ones are so close! It sounds like it's working out well for you. I'm starting to think that closer might be hard in the immediate short term, but better as they get older - I just think about all the "baby" stuff we have (toys, clothes, and so forth) that we will just end up having to get rid of most likely, unless we have another baby soonish - so there's the financial aspect and practicality aspect too!

thash1979thash1979
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I actually have three children and the first two have a huge gap in age. My oldest is 13 and when she was around 4, my husband and I decided we wanted another. As easy as we thought it was going to be to have another baby, it was not. After about 7 months of trying, I got pregnant. Three months into the pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. We waited about a year and decided to try again, only to be disappointed by another miscarriage. This time it was too much for me to try again. Then a year later after not trying or paying too much attention to my cycles, I come up pregnant! My first two are eight years apart! After my healthy son was born, we waited no time in having another. My two youngest are only 18 months apart. So I have a huge gap in mine. But it works out for the better now that my oldest will soon be old enough to babysit the younger ones!

Andy_LothbroAndy_Lothbro
posted 1 year 6 months ago
Our twins were almost 2 when we had our youngest. It was quite scary knowing we were going to have 3 under 3 and how would we handle it. Luckily, it has all gone quite smoothly. The twins are now three and a half and our youngest is about to turn 2. She loves trying to keep up with her siblings and playing with them... or trying to. The older ones just love having a little sister a bit younger to dote over.

NewJersey13NewJersey13
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I understand your concern of jealously when there is a big age gap among your children.I have a big gap between my children. I have a 15 year old son and a two year old daughter. My daughter loves her older brother and always wants him to play with her. My son loves his sister but does not want to spend time playing with a 2 year old. I would love for them to have a sister and brother bond even though there is a huge age difference, but I don't know how. Should I make my son spend time with his baby sister? I don't want my son to see his sister as a burden.

LvMyFmly5LvMyFmly5
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I have 3 children, two sons and a daughter. My oldest son is 19, my daughter is 16, and my youngest son is 10. I spaced my kids out on purpose because I know myself well enough that I could not handle having two kids in diapers as well as going through the terrible twos together. Yikes! Some parents can handle that and I definitely admire them for it. One of the only things I don't like about the gap in age with my children is that none of them are real close. They fight more than they get along most of the time. My oldest and youngest son do have some things in common like video games, but that is about it.

One thing that is also hard is the fact that my two older children have disabilities. My oldest son has severe ADHD,OCD, and Aspergers (a mild form of autism) and my daughter has Down Syndrome. She is high functioning but she loves to antagonize her brothers. They fight a lot and I think that some of the gray hair I have are from them. My youngest son is pretty good about having understanding for both of his siblings and the conditions they have but he does get a little frustrated with them some times and that is when my husband and I have to remind him of what they have. I stopped at 3 kids because I felt if I did have any more that I would end up losing my mind since I can barely handle what I have now.

rz3300rz3300
posted 1 year 6 months ago
I think that we were lucky when it came to the age gap between our two, which was four years, and in my experience of working with children I have seen that when kids have siblings that are the same age it can really work for or against them. I have seen both, where one sibling, usually the younger, gets sucked up into the other's life, usually the older. I guess it just really depends on the upbringing though and we all know that there are millions of factors at work there.

AubsessionAubsession
posted 1 year 5 months ago
I do not have kids yet but I have a very close to parenting-experience with my nieces and nephews. My brother has 3 children and my sister has 4. My brother has 2 kids, 1 year apart and his youngest child is 10 years younger. My sister on the other hand, has 4 kids and all of them are 1 year apart. I know, crazy right?

I find my sister's children are more closer to each other. I, like my brother's youngest child also have a very large age gap with my siblings. I cannot really relate to them because they are way older than me.

To answer your question about jealousy, my brother's youngest child seems to be jealous with his older siblings closeness. Although my sister's children are so close to each other, they also seem to have jealous instances with grades, with who is given a better gift for their birthdays and so forth. To cut the story short, I guess jealousy is a normal issue with siblings. I think that no matter the age gap is, it's up to the parent to treat their kids equally.

darkchilddarkchild
posted 1 year 5 months ago
We are waiting till my son turns four before we conceive the next child. This will eliminate all forms of stress and he will be able to relate with his sibling. It is not really easy child planning or child spacing because there is no 100 percent assurance there will be no conception before then.

tina122321tina122321
posted 1 year 5 months ago
Our kids are all within 21 months. We have three kids. The oldest is 21 months older than the youngest. The middle child was not born from me and she is about 13 months younger than the oldest. She fits right in the middle.

I very much like having them so close together. We never had to start over. Once we were done with a faze like diapers or binkys, we were done forever. For the most part they learned new skills like bike riding. They have usauly been able to participate in the same lessons like soccer or basketball camp.

They enjoy each other's company and are best friends. They have the same group of friends and they rarely get bored. I really like how close in age they are.

JosiePJosieP
posted 1 year 5 months ago
Mine are 4 years apart. Just keep in mind, the issues today won't be the issues tomorrow, so they shouldn't really deter you. Unless they'd make life unbareable of course LOL. At first, the age gap was awesome, it was very easy to do the night feedings and early rising etc when my oldest was already done with all that and sleeping through it soundly. He was a great helper too. They got along famously as the youngest got more independant.. but then the age gap widened. Now they're so different they don't do anything together unless with us. Different friends, different interests, different everything. If they were closer in age, they'd either be great friends or at each others throats (or more likely both LOL) which sometimes I wish for; that I had had my youngest sooner.. but then the challenges would have just been different and just as difficult AND rewarding. Which is what I meant by today's issues not being tomorrow's. You're never truly perfectly ready, right? I would go with what feels right for you.

Amelia88Amelia88
posted 1 year 5 months ago
@JosieP thank you! I love what you said about the issues today won't be the issues tomorrow. We did decide just recently to start trying again, and if we were lucky enough to conceive right away there would be about 2 years between our little ones. I think it's going to be pretty intense right away, but hopefully the few years of craziness will mean that they grow up close and sharing some interests, possibly!

JosiePJosieP
posted 1 year 5 months ago
Awesome! Either way, the most fleeting years of their lives are when they're young. Close together or years apart, they will be equals soon enough and they'll love each other regardless. I look forward to mine both being adults and on more common ground, but they still love and respect each other very much. They just don't know what to do with each other right now LOL. Tomorrow will be different.
Lots of luck Smile

DragerMom2DragerMom2
posted 1 year 5 months ago
My kids are 2 years apart. Overall it has been pretty well and I am glad of the distance. They will go through school together which is a bonus. I grew up being 7 years apart from my sister and I was basically the little sister she got stuck watching a lot. As we got older, our relationship grew. However, there was a point in time where I was in the "pest" in her life haha. I knew when I had my kids I wanted them to be somewhat close in age. I am glad it worked out for me that they were 2 years apart. They play together and like to do some things together. My daughter is a tom-boy and likes to do some of her brothers "boy" things, but then she has her own things she likes to do. It's been fun and challenging at the same time.

jhayjhay
posted 1 year 5 months ago
I have 2 kids. They are very close with each other. The eldest is 3 and my youngest will be 2 this June. I noticed that my eldest is really caring with her sister. She really looks out whenever I'm a few feet away. In case of toys though, there will be some toy grabbing issues haha because most of the toddlers don't share. Its inevitable..

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