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Need a moan - Sorry

mkbabymkbaby
posted 8 years 7 months ago
I have been feeling weird/upset/generally crap for the last few days and today it is really boiling over.

We have come to the end of our tenancy and are waiting to be housed by the council as our tenancy wont be renewed coz we cant afford it, quite a long story, but anyway its taking ages. I feel really unsettled living out of boxes and not knowing where we are gonna end up.

Also, things at work are really strained, not with me directly, but the atmosphere is really getting me down which is a shame coz the people are lovely and normally its great, now though I hate it and feel uncomfortable in case i say the wrong thing to someone.

To add to this my oh has been really up and down himself. After reading a post on another forum about someone's husband leaving her pregnant coz he has feelings for a work colleague, he asked me if I would let him see the baby if he did that. I was confused why he wanted to know but he said it was just coz i mentioned the post. I wouldnt have paid attention except i know someone he works with fancies him and once me and his friend pointed out that she was obsessed with him, she suddenly stopped as if he had told her i knew or something. Now he wants a job working with her and her team and i really dont want him to coz i am concerned something will start up between them. On top of this, last night he messed up on his game on the ps3 and got in such a bad mood he refused to speak to me. As a grown man who is gonna have to set an example to his son in a few months i thought this was pathetic and i was really hurt.

I know it could be down to hormones but I am starting to feel like I would have a better chance at being a good mum if i was on my own. I dont want to rely on benefits but I think that would be better than worrying about him starting a new job or losing his temper with me over a stupid game.

I have been in tears every day and I feel so lost. I dont know if I am falling out of love with him as sometimes I can't stand the sight of him. I cant talk to him as he just tells me i am being stupid but i feel so lonely sometimes. I only work mornings, so i then come home to a half packed house, then when he finishes work i make dinner and then sit on the lap top so he can use the telly to play his game. I took him out for dinner last night and it was lovely but then his game ruined evrything.

Am I just being hormonal, will I see that its not really that bad? Or should I start to make changes for the sake of me and my baby who doesnt deservbe to be born into a crap life.

Thanks for reading


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kristagkristag
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Poor you hun. Yes, hormones do run havoc with us but there are some things that perhaps need to be addressed.

Can he not buy a cheap portable TV for his PS3? I'm also a gaming nut (or was until I had Sophie!) and I have also lost my temper completely and stormed around the house because I've been on a particular mission on a game or battling a huge boss and lost after hours of doing it. Yes, I'm 43 and should know better, but it was also my 'let off steam' after work too - although sometimes that didn't work as I've just let on Embarassed I bought a little TV for the bedroom and plugged my console into that or played when hubby was out on the main TV. You can get a telly for about £30 so that would solve that issue - except he'd be in a different room so maybe that's not what you want?

Living out of boxes and uncertainty is a definite downer. I do hope things sort out soon on that front. Sounds like it's just a matter of time now though.

As for the woman at work. I'm very much of the philosophy that if someone's going to do something, you can't stop them. However, it was a very odd thing for him to ask so maybe you could have a chat with him about it again saying his comment bothered you. I've said things to Mike about posts I've read about but he's never asked me anything like that. I know that's just us but I do kind of wonder if there may be something there. As you're saying you feel out of love with your other half quite a bit, maybe he's feeling insecure too?

I think you guys need to have a good chat and see if you can iron this all out. Once your housing situation has improved, maybe you'll both feel more relaxed and back in love - I do hope so hun Hug

Good luck Hug Hug

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Aww hun, like sounds like you are really going through a tough time right now and the last thing you need is having to live out of boxes too! I really hope the housing situation improves fast for you.

As for the rest, like Krista says, pregnanct hormones can run havok with us and it is really hard for men to understand sometimes as obviously they don't have to go through pregnancy! I definitely think you need to have a chat with your OH hun. Ask him how he is feeling too? Perhaps he is really worried about the housing problem too? Especially with a little one on the way. Maybe he feels like he should be providing better and if he was you wouldn't be in this situation (not that he should, sometimes these things happen). Perhaps why he is biting at you over what seem silly things because he is bottling things up? If the atmosphere is strained at home that may be why he is spending more time gaming too?
As Krista says i do think the question he asked was rather strange but i suppose it could be innocent or maybe he has picked up on the vibes that you are struggling with your feelings towards him at the moment and is scared you are going to leave him? As for the woman at work thing, i'm afraid i agree with Krista, i don't think you can stop this happening. If someone has decided they want to cheat with someone they will do it whatever you do/say. So being worried about it is almost a waste of energy (i know you can't help it though hun) i think we all have worried at one point or another about a partner going off with someone else.
Finally hun, i would speak to your midwife about how you are feeling hun. As well as Post Natal Depression you can also suffer with Pre Natal Depression. It is possible you may be getting depressed and seeing things a bit different to how you normally would? Especially with the stress of your housing troubles! Good luck hun, i really think talking is the key. Fingers crossed he will try and understand your feelings? It is certainly worth trying everything before giving up and becoming a single mum. Huge hugs hun, i really hope things start to look up for you soon. Let us know how you go! Hug Hug Hug Xx

WelshMumWelshMum
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Oh gosh, have a big hug from me Hug Hug Hug Hug

I agree that it's probably the pregnancy hormones playing havoc with you- I got a bit like this the other week with Jer and took everything he said to mean something that it didn't and got into such a state that I couldn't breathe which made me feel even more upset that I may end up in hospital. It's so hard when you're pregnant to rely on your gut instinct and your natural reaction is to over-react.

Adding the house issue and atmosphere at work has made you feel worse- but it's stuff that will soon be sorted and it's affecting both of you, which doesn't help either. Splitting up isn't the answer, Hun. As Krista said, you both need a good chat about things. Can the 2 of you get away somewhere for a weekend? It doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg but just go somewhere that is away from it all that you can relax without the distraction of the PS3 and boxes. It'll do the world of good, trust me.

Hope you feel better very soon, try not to worry Hug

Louise x

samtiffsamtiff
posted 8 years 7 months ago
[color=-:3fcd0fa8d2]I have had a chat to my hubby about this. He is worried for you, as am I. (I won't put what he said exactly as it was very direct and .... well it involved telling him to F$$$ Off. Some men are so reactive!)

Of course you need to talk to your partner first and foremost but if you do not get anywhere or you don't her what you need to hear, which I assume is that he loves you and he will try to behave a bit better, then maybe you would be better off without.

It is hard to advise as hormones can make things seem worse than they are which is why talking is the first step. Is there anyone close to him that you can talk to who will be honest - because that might help too.

I really hope it sorts out but I think you need to put you and the baby first. He should realise that and he should be a bit more supportive.

Hugs coming at you!!!! Hug Hug Hug Hug

mkbabymkbaby
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Hi all, firstly thank you for all your caring responses. I knew I could rely on you for support.

After yesterdays depressive post, I pretty much went in to meltdown and couldnt hide my feelings from oh anymore. We had a long talk where I hiccupped my way through. He told me "if i didnt want to be with u i wouldnt, regardless of u being pregnant. i love you and each day i love u more and when our son is born our family will be complete".

things still feel a little funny but i am almost certain it is my hormones now as 90% of the time i worship him and only 10% is wishing he would leave me alone and stop touching me LOL.

Also, despite the terrible snowy weather here in mk, we got a call today saying a house should be ready for us on the 16th. The relief has made certain things seem so irrelevant now that i have more peace.

To top it off, we had a snow day today and spent the whole day together without 1 argument. Neary bedtime so i hold out hope that we wont ruin it.

I feel like i was being over dramatic yesterday and feel quite stupid but i guess a combination of uncertanty and bottled up emotions just needed to escape.

I will however keep you updated as moving could cause additional stress and hormones will most likely flair. I do love my man even if he drives me insane. I hope u dont think I am a time waster as i know some people on other forums post for attention.

thanks again for all your kind words.

Love you xxx

WolfblassWolfblass
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Oh honey HUGE HUGS!!!

At the beginning of Jan we had a really nasty fall out with our landlord and ended up getting solicitors involved and decided to look for somwewhere new (even though legally we were in the right and could stay here if we wanted too). We've only been here since Sept so came out of the blue and i was worried about housing etc too, also being pg made it worse.

We are moving next Friday and in all honesty for us this is hopefully turning out all for the better. Very Happy We have had to change DD's school (Georgia-Mae who is 5) aswell as prepare for bumps arrival and find money to move and buy curtains etc. I'm 35 weeks pg and every day i find somthing else to make me cry. I started Mat Leave last Friday and we are living out of boxes aswell (it's a blommin nightmare isn't it!?)

So glad you and your OH had a lovely talk and i'll keep my fingers crossed for you that things start looking up for you asap. Hug Hug

B xxx

WelshMumWelshMum
posted 8 years 7 months ago

mkbaby said:
Hi all, firstly thank you for all your caring responses. I knew I could rely on you for support.

After yesterdays depressive post, I pretty much went in to meltdown and couldnt hide my feelings from oh anymore. We had a long talk where I hiccupped my way through. He told me "if i didnt want to be with u i wouldnt, regardless of u being pregnant. i love you and each day i love u more and when our son is born our family will be complete".

things still feel a little funny but i am almost certain it is my hormones now as 90% of the time i worship him and only 10% is wishing he would leave me alone and stop touching me LOL.

Also, despite the terrible snowy weather here in mk, we got a call today saying a house should be ready for us on the 16th. The relief has made certain things seem so irrelevant now that i have more peace.

To top it off, we had a snow day today and spent the whole day together without 1 argument. Neary bedtime so i hold out hope that we wont ruin it.

I feel like i was being over dramatic yesterday and feel quite stupid but i guess a combination of uncertanty and bottled up emotions just needed to escape.

I will however keep you updated as moving could cause additional stress and hormones will most likely flair. I do love my man even if he drives me insane. I hope u dont think I am a time waster as i know some people on other forums post for attention.

thanks again for all your kind words.

Love you xxx



You are by no means a time waster, Hun. We all need advice and support on here from time to time and that's what we are all friends for. Pregnancy, parenting and life in general can cause many a sane person to crumble now and again but we're all here to help if we can Yes

Glad things are getting better for you, just keep that positive attitude going and if you do need a shoulder to cry on, we're all here for you. Hug Hug Hug

Lou x

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 8 years 7 months ago

WelshMum said:

mkbaby said:
Hi all, firstly thank you for all your caring responses. I knew I could rely on you for support.

After yesterdays depressive post, I pretty much went in to meltdown and couldnt hide my feelings from oh anymore. We had a long talk where I hiccupped my way through. He told me "if i didnt want to be with u i wouldnt, regardless of u being pregnant. i love you and each day i love u more and when our son is born our family will be complete".

things still feel a little funny but i am almost certain it is my hormones now as 90% of the time i worship him and only 10% is wishing he would leave me alone and stop touching me LOL.

Also, despite the terrible snowy weather here in mk, we got a call today saying a house should be ready for us on the 16th. The relief has made certain things seem so irrelevant now that i have more peace.

To top it off, we had a snow day today and spent the whole day together without 1 argument. Neary bedtime so i hold out hope that we wont ruin it.

I feel like i was being over dramatic yesterday and feel quite stupid but i guess a combination of uncertanty and bottled up emotions just needed to escape.

I will however keep you updated as moving could cause additional stress and hormones will most likely flair. I do love my man even if he drives me insane. I hope u dont think I am a time waster as i know some people on other forums post for attention.

thanks again for all your kind words.

Love you xxx



You are by no means a time waster, Hun. We all need advice and support on here from time to time and that's what we are all friends for. Pregnancy, parenting and life in general can cause many a sane person to crumble now and again but we're all here to help if we can Yes

Glad things are getting better for you, just keep that positive attitude going and if you do need a shoulder to cry on, we're all here for you. Hug Hug Hug

Lou x


Well said Lou, couldn't agree more! - we aredefinitely all here to help and listen to you rant whenever you need hun Xx

kristagkristag
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Ditto to the above Thumbs Up We are all here to help and everyone needs a rant at times. You're certainly no time waster Hug

samtiffsamtiff
posted 8 years 7 months ago
Yay - I am glad everything is OK. You try to enjoy your pregnancy now.... and I hope the move goes well.

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