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Trying to eat a meal when baby crying...what do you do?

kristagkristag
posted 8 years 11 months ago
I am going through a period with Sophie that it seems the minute I dish up a meal or put my dinner on, she starts to howl Crying

I have therefore been skipping meals which my HV and hubby have told me off for as I'm breastfeeding and it's not doing me or Sophie any good.

I have tried to eat when she's crying and tried to ignore the sound (knowing first, of course, that she's fed, clean and not unwell) but I find it so stressful it can reduce me to tears and I just cannot finish a meal Sad I therefore often just put what I have to eat to one side or don't bother starting it so I can pick her up and comfort her.

My HV says at her age there is no 'cause and effect' yet so I'm fine to let her cry or pick her up, whichever I choose but there's no harm she said in letting her cry whilst I eat. She suggested I go into another room whilst having my dinner and just check on her. However, I'm too scared to do this since Sophie had bronchiolitis and choked badly with it - paranoia I know No

How do others cope with the baby crying when it comes to mealtimes? Is it just something you learn to 'ignore' whilst you are eating if you know they are fine and just grumpy or tired?

I'd really, really appreciate any help.


AlexAlex Moderator
posted 8 years 11 months ago
Joseph had to wait for me to finish what I was eating (and I never rushed my food either) I know you are worried about leaving her since her bronchitis, but if you are sure she is well, leave her in another room. I never let Joseph rule my life, he had to adapt to me.

I know someone who pampered to her kids every whine, and often missed meals because of it, no even though they are much older they still wont let her eat in peace. They know they can get attention so they do it.

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 8 years 11 months ago
Aww hun, I remember this soo well. Jake had colic and it seemed it was never going to end. It was always worse at tea time. I was lucky that mike was usually home at tea time so we took it in turns to eat, as i couldn't just sit there and listen to him cry either. It was still hard even when mike had him as he didn't settle as well with him. Jake is such a mummy's boy unlike his sister who is daddy all the way! LOL If you have no help at meal times, is it possible to change the time you eat temporarily? Maybe cook at a time she is more content hun? If mike wasn't going to be home at mealtimes i used to graze through the day. Eating fruit, bread, cereal, crackers (plus the odd biscuit etc) that way i was eating and drinking enough to keep my milk supply up but i wasn't sitting down to a big meal which took 15mins or so to eat. I know this isn't particularly healthy but it was a case of needs must at the time! I really hope Sophie settles soon for you hun. Try that new swing of yours too. . .may help? Hug Hug Hug Xx

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 8 years 11 months ago
I know this is probably really bad to tell you but Aaralyn was the same exact way and alot of times it was just her and I so I would put her on the boob and carry on with my eating LOL I know that can't be the way for everyone though...

I would put her in a swing chair or vibrating chair and keep her in your site while you eat? Maybe after a few times she''ll see your there and give your some peace.

Here's a Hug since I know I wasn't much help there Embarassed

kristagkristag
posted 8 years 11 months ago
I certainly don't want Sophie to rule me for sure but it's a bit tough right now. I've become softer as I've got older obviously as I never had any problem eating or making Jasmine wait - wicked mum I was then huh? Twisted Evil

I think I'll have to learn to eat with a fork Tammy and feed at the same time if necessary (saw a lady doing that down our local pub some months ago and she had it down to a fine art!).

I think the new swing is a good idea too Amanda! At least she can have fun whilst she's crying then Thumbs Up

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 8 years 11 months ago
just a thought but when you sit down to feed her can you not make a cuppa and have a biscuit at the same time- at least that way you are getting liquids and a snakc to eat.

kristagkristag
posted 8 years 11 months ago

Alex said:
just a thought but when you sit down to feed her can you not make a cuppa and have a biscuit at the same time- at least that way you are getting liquids and a snakc to eat.


Sounds sensible Alex. I've started having a glass of juice beside me to drink whilst I'm feeding and a bit of galaxy (naughty but nice!) Embarassed

angelsmomangelsmom
posted 8 years 11 months ago
every time food was put in front of me hayden would cry and wanted feeding without fail. through the day i would nibble mainly on crisps and bicuits. if there was someone else in i would feed hayden then feed myself while they comforted him.
i didnt eat any where near what i should ov done thats part the reason i was so ill, (because i didnt have the stregnth to fight) so please please eat...............i know the same wont happen to you im just really paranoid about stuff like that.

TAMSTAMS
posted 8 years 11 months ago
With cassie I ended up balancing on my knee whilst I ate.If she needed breast feeding I used to eat one handed whilst she was latched on. Although at one point hubby was feeding me whilst i breast fed. I was never able to leave her to cry. Huge hugs, but remember without food your milk supply will stop.

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 8 years 11 months ago
Both mine would start as soon as I had my tea in front of me LOL.

I used to check they were OK, then eat my tea although it was a while before I ate a meal warm. I used to put George in his rocker and diddle it with my foot while I ate and it calmed him down usually.

kristagkristag
posted 8 years 11 months ago
Sounds like we've all been there. I tell you what, just knowing other people have gone through this makes it feel not so bad Smile I think that's half the joy of these forums - you know you're not alone!!! Very Happy

I am making a concerted effort to eat. Mike does shift work so sometimes he's around but a lot of the time not now (doing all the overtime now I'm not working, bless him). However, when he's around I can eat so today he had to leave for work at 1.30pm so I got my main meal ready lunchtime then had snacks and lots of juice drinks tonight but at least I've had a proper meal today.

I've already started leaving Sophie to cry a bit. I just keep and eye on her and talk to her every few minutes so she knows I'm still around but am not picking her up every time she shouts now and she's managed to get herself back to sleep a few times today whereas normally she would cry, I would hold her, she'd go to sleep, I'd put her back in her moses basket and she'd cry 1 minute later so the cycle would start again (rod + back = Frustrated I know).

I want to keep the milk supply up (if my nipples can stand it as she's feeding from both sides right now at each feed!) so I'm trying to be good. Thanks for everyone's help Hug

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 8 years 11 months ago

Quote:
Sounds like we've all been there. I tell you what, just knowing other people have gone through this makes it feel not so bad Smile I think that's half the joy of these forums - you know you're not alone!!!


I so wish I had you guys when Aaralyn was an infant!!!

Sounds to me like you are doing an awesome at a not so easy job! Thumbs Up

angelsmomangelsmom
posted 8 years 11 months ago
have u tried lasinogh cream (not sure thats right spellin but is how u say it i think) for nipples, i bought mine but it was about £10 then got told of mw you can have it on prescription.

soupsoup
posted 8 years 11 months ago
charlie does the same thing and i cant eat whilst his crying either

i have mastered feeding whilst eating but that involves eating with one hand which is not always convienient so i pop him in his sling Thumbs Up

i can latch him on in both the slings i have and have both my hands free Clapping

or sometimes i feed him whilst hubby eats and then give him to hubby to hold whilst i eat


he is getting better though, i actually managed to eat my dinner last night whilst he sat in his chair but we did eat very early last night so he hadn't kicked into cluster feeding mode yet

krazymookrazymoo
posted 8 years 11 months ago
have u tried playing music? this helped my son when he was newborn to settle down, he was exactly the same, always started when i started eating, it does get better

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 8 years 11 months ago
When Summer was a baby and frequently did this we took it in turns to eat and hold her. When we had Denis we said,"No". He would have to sit in his bouncy chair or go in his moses basket and wait for us to finish and on the whole he soon learnt to sooth himself and we ate in peace.

staceybstaceyb
posted 8 years 11 months ago
- My blog
catherine had bad colic and cried constantly for 5 months. we used to do what mandy did and take turns eating. i couldnt eat while listening to her cry. it was heartbreaking

SamuelSamuel
posted 8 years 11 months ago
All of our children did this too, we always sat them on one of our knees while we ate, they are too little to understand why their cry is being ignored, plus its a bloody horrible sound.

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