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feeling really lonely

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
And Im not looking for sympathy or any it will get better comments, I just want a moan.

Crying

I don't know what is up with me just now, I am feeling so lonely and depressed about it. I have times before when I have felt low but never like this. I have been single since I walked out on a not very good relationship 5 1/2years ago.

I wish when I came home from work there was someone to give me a cuddle and ask about my day, or like today when I got the news about Joseph's hospital appointment that I could have a hug and when he goes for his procedure that someone was there to hold my hand. Someone who is there for me to talk to, or just be there even if I didnt want to talk. And someone who in return for being there for me would let me be there for them. Sad

I love in such a small town, and although I have friends here, they all have their own lives and other halfs and families. And I found after having been away to Uni and out of the town for 5 years that even though we kept in touch they had all changed (maybe it was me who changed)

Im not one for going out alot, I reply on my parents so much that I don't like asking them to have Joseph anymore than I already do and I don't know any 16year olds etc that could babysit, asked my friends who looked after their kids and their parents help them out.

I don't have many hobbies at the moment, my life is work and Joseph. My job, regardless what many people think is not 9-3, I don't start when the kids come into school and finish when they leave. I have got into a good routine that I am in for 8.30 and I finsh at 4.15 and collect Joseph from the childminders and we have some time together, by 7.30 he is in bed and sleeping and then I do school work. Joseph, work, Joseph, work. When am I meant to meet any new friends (or someone).

There is someone I kinda like and would like to get to know better but that isn't going to happen. He would never look at me like that and who would blame him, Im FAT!!! (and thats getting me down just now but that will be another post) and who wants a fat girl. Crying


hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
OK chick! I ought to give you a spank for your putting yourself down like that!! Bad!

Other than that, all I can say is the right guy didn't come along for me until I was 38 years old, so I know that might not make you feel any better (LOL) Rolling Eyes but! all the ones I was with before Mike were just time passers or I guess hopefuls until i realized they weren't the right ones for me... I know blah blah blah but you are so much more than you must be seeing yourself as and I think a good start for you would be to find something to give yourself a confidence booster!! Here's an idea babe, take a look at what a super great mum you are!! You have a wonderful little boy to prove that. You have gorgeous blue eyes and we all have something about our selves that we'd like to improve, just gotta find it in you to work on that or just accept that as long as you're healthy than you are ok the way you are!

Ok, all done now, love ya babe!! Flower Hug

soupsoup
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Alex you are gorgeous, you are beautiful inside and out, you are a curvy girl and if any guy lets that get in the way then you would be better off without them.

When my husband an i met you in July he was commenting all evening about how pretty tou were and that you had fantastic eyes (and other things). I just read your post to him (sorry) but he assures me that if you were in London not only would he be able to find you plenty of men but says i would have to be on my best bahaviour because he would quite fancy that cuddle you say you never get.

There is someone out there for everybody and any man would be lucky to get you.

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago

soup said:
Alex you are gorgeous, you are beautiful inside and out, you are a curvy girl and if any guy lets that get in the way then you would be better off without them.

When my husband an i met you in July he was commenting all evening about how pretty tou were and that you had fantastic eyes (and other things). I just read your post to him (sorry) but he assures me that if you were in London not only would he be able to find you plenty of men but says i would have to be on my best bahaviour because he would quite fancy that cuddle you say you never get.

There is someone out there for everybody and any man would be lucky to get you.


He is sooo sweet and you can tell him thanks he has put a smile on my face. Embarassed

gypseygypsey
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Hug aw alex ur such a nice person wiv a very big heart i really dont know wot to say but just thought i would send some Hug Hug Hug Hug ur way

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Do you have a couple of friends with children around the same age who you could maybe agree to baby sit for sometimes at weekends or evenings; who would then do the same for you in return. Then you wouldn't have to ask your family for any more than you do now and you would have the chance to get out every couple of weeks or so. You don't have to go out 'looking for it', but you could relax and have fun and suddenly find when you're not looking that there's a nice guy who likes you too. Plus your friends might appreciate the chance to have a night out without having to ask their families if you look after their kids sometimes.
Or take advantage of the fact that it is soon Halloween, Fireworks night and Christmas and make some plans with friends to do stuff as a group. You deserve some fun and friendship with your busy routine Flower

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Aww Alex, As the others have said, you have sooo many good qualities about you. Not all guys want a skinny minnie. I know most guys would much rather have someone who was pretty inside. Confidence (although not arrogance) is Sexy! Someone who can have fun, enjoy life and is as compassionate as you should have no problem finding a man. I really feel you need to have some fun, and make some new friends. I appreciate this isn't easy with the childcare thing but although your mum and dad already do a lot for you, i'm sure they would look after joseph for the odd evening so you can let your hair down, i'm sure they would hate to know you felt down but didn't eant to ask them for ant more help? Can nobody in your area recommend a babysitter? Or as GTTkel says could you not swap some babysitting duties with some friends?
Sending some big Hug your way hun. Xx

orc30orc30
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Ok Alex, as Tammy said we ought to slap you silly for putting yourself down like that. Bad!

Anybody that can't be bothered to see the person within isn't worth bothering with. From what I know of you from this forum you have a great personality.

I'm in the same boat to a degree although have different positives and negatives that are my demons. Unfortunately my kids don't live with me, but the positive fact that I take from that is that when I do get some free time I can do something with it. Unfortunately my job is unpredictable and one day I'll work 9-5 but the next thing could be 6am-10pm, or flying to Prague as I will be doing tomorrow evening (see it even buggers up my weekends as the kids are going home a few hours earlier than normal). Use the predictability of your job as an advantage. See if you can leave Joseph with the child minder for a few extra hours one day a week, and find a class, group, hobyy or something to do during that time. That way it won't put any extra pressure on your parents. Alternatively use your parents to help free a little you time. I'm sure they'd be willing to help as it will make you a happier person which is better for everyone.

Ok, now with regards to the weight issue as I suffer the same thoughts myself. I used to be 12st 7lbs when I was at University and then after entering the real world I put on 4 stone. It affected me in many ways and I have seen that more with my wife leaving last year. So I want to lose weight to be back in the direction of where I used to be. I don't ever expect to get there and having put on muscle bulk, I know that I won't. I don't know what your story is but if you have always been curvey then embrace it, otherwise make use of that gym membership that you mention. If nothing else the process of exercising releases endorphins that make you feel good. This is scientifically proven, and I will standby that as I know that I get a good feeling after a good, hard workout at the gym.

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Thanks guys. I know I am being really silly. I think it is because Joseph is 5 on saturday and that highlights how long I have been on my own.

orc30orc30
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Another positive. 5 years of living with somebody that loves you!

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago

orc30 said:
Another positive. 5 years of living with somebody that loves you!


thats very true Love

Have you room in your suitcase for 1 Owen? I would love a little trip to Prague. Very Happy

RichieRichie
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Alex, I think this song just about says it all!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=89GB7z_Ogt0

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Thanks Richie

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago
I found this and it cheered me up


candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 2 months ago
I know you said you didn't want any sympathy but heres a big Hug

I can only agree with what everyone else has said hun. xx

orc30orc30
posted 9 years 2 months ago

Alex said:

orc30 said:
Another positive. 5 years of living with somebody that loves you!


thats very true Love

Have you room in your suitcase for 1 Owen? I would love a little trip to Prague. Very Happy


Sorry, request came a little late. I'm here! After a hard morning working I will be jumping on a coach this afternoon for a tour of historic Prague. For once we get to see some of the city that we're in.

Plenty of drinking last night, leaving the bar at 2:30. At least I got up and made the first session unlike my colleague who I still haven't seen.

bubbabeetlebubbabeetle
posted 9 years 2 months ago
you make all your own decisions in life - I dont want to sound harsh but its ip to you to pick yourself up dust yourself off and diecide what you want to do - it it is to lose weight then get focused and do it - FOR YOU ! we believe in you xxx

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 2 months ago

orc30 said:

Alex said:

orc30 said:
Another positive. 5 years of living with somebody that loves you!


thats very true Love

Have you room in your suitcase for 1 Owen? I would love a little trip to Prague. Very Happy


Sorry, request came a little late. I'm here! After a hard morning working I will be jumping on a coach this afternoon for a tour of historic Prague. For once we get to see some of the city that we're in.

Plenty of drinking last night, leaving the bar at 2:30. At least I got up and made the first session unlike my colleague who I still haven't seen.


Just my luck I missed the flight Sad

Hope you enjoy your coach trip.

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 2 months ago
Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug

JulieJulie
posted 9 years 3 weeks ago
Hi there and thanks for your heartfelt message. The only help I could offer is to get out there and start asking for what you need. It's really important to acknowledge your needs, like you have here, and then to actually ask people for help or for what you want. Ok, you might get rejections etc but at least you're putting your energy out there and opening doors. I spent years being passive and waiting for someone and something to come along. It doesn't. Only when your energy shifts does life confirm you.
Hope that helps.
Julie Yes

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