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Is it easier with a second baby?

BonniesmumBonniesmum
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I have one two year old daughter and i am in a constant dilemma with myself over whether to be brave enough to have a second child. I was in a bad way with depression with my daughter and found motherhood very hard. Is it easier second time around and how do any of you manage to juggle more than one? I am 36 so i can't leave it too long before making my mind up. I am an only child and always vowed never to have just one child if i ever had any so i feel like i am letting my daughter down if i stopped at her. Thanks for any advice x


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eamesy88eamesy88
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
- My blog
Obvi i cant comment at the moment as just got my lil girl that is 2 but i imagine as you done things with your first you will know ways round things you done before and what to change ect, like not jumpin at every winge or giving in too easily

JOJOJOJO
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
in my experience NO its harder you cant rest like you can first time and your constantly running around after your LO,and when baby comes its even harder as you have 2 of them you have to juggle your time between them,

kerry2009kerry2009
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Yes I think it is a millions times easier although it depends on the age gap. I have a 4 year age gap between my 2 boys and it has been so much easier with 2nd baby. My eldest helped out loads just by little things such as passing a nappy, bottle etc

And now Baileys older, he will be 2 in october, Aiden can play with him more and more.

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I think it depends on the baby in some ways, my first was a very good baby and was easy through the night and slept through very early on, only cried if she needed something etc. I thought no.2 would be a breeze...unfortunately not, my second was a very needy baby, he wanted feeding every 2 hours, he cried all the time and only slept for upto 30 mins at a time.

I did find it a slap in the face to be honest, I assumed it would be easier second time around, but running after a toddler and having a screaming baby very much overwhelmed me to begin with. I did learn to cope with it though. It was unfortunate that My hubby and myself had a rough patch during the first months of George's life, so I didn't really get the support I needed.

This is only my experience though, the circumstances are different with everyone. You need to weigh up the pros and cons, maybe discuss your concerns with your partner and get his point of veiw on it. x

jo-jojo-jo
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I also have a 4 1/2 year gap between my boys so it has been quite easy for me.I think it aslo depends on the children/baby.My sister has two children 11 months apart and is 4 months pregnant with her third, she finds it a breeze but i know if i were in that situation i wouldnt be able to cope as she is alot calmer person than i am. Shrug

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I will have a 10 year gap when this little one is born. I'd say it's easy but you can understand why Thumbs Up

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Sorry to sit on the fence, but i would say it totally depends on the individuals. My DS has been much harder work than my DD was. However that is just the way things worked for me. He is a very cuddly baby who needs a lot of attention He likes to be entertained all day long! However just because you suffered with depression the first time doesn't mean you will second time around. I also just wanted to say, whatever your decision, you will NOT be letting your daughter down. Xx

BonniesmumBonniesmum
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Thanks everyone, i guess it does depend on the child's personality a lot. My daughter was a hard baby at first, cried all the time, poor sleeper and had colic. Shes a very feisty girl now and likes a lot of attention. I think my parents got lucky with me as i was quite placid! X

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Having 2 is harder work than 1 but actually taking care of my second when he was born was sooo much easier than the first because I knew exactly what I was doing and got into a routine so much quicker.

soupsoup
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
2 years old is such a hard age aswell with all the tantrums and potty training

im going to have a 4 year age gap and i think its going to work out quite well

my friends who have a smaller age gap seem to struggle quite alot but they both have two boys

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
i have 2 and i have 3 years inbetween, its a nice gap as Tom was old enough to understand enough to make it easier for me.

I had no worries with 2.

Are you worried that you may get PND again and having 2 babies will be too much for you?

I hope that you make the decision thats right for you. Hug

BonniesmumBonniesmum
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
Yes i do worry the pnd will return. A lot of it was brought on though by not knowing anything about how to care for a new born. I didn't have the birth i wanted either as i was induced and felt totally out of control, the doctors and midwives seemed to take over. Forceps were used in the end, i felt nothing but panic when my baby was put in my arms so not bonding didn't help. It took a long time to adjust to being a mum.

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago

Bonniesmum said:
Yes i do worry the pnd will return. A lot of it was brought on though by not knowing anything about how to care for a new born. I didn't have the birth i wanted either as i was induced and felt totally out of control, the doctors and midwives seemed to take over. Forceps were used in the end, i felt nothing but panic when my baby was put in my arms so not bonding didn't help. It took a long time to adjust to being a mum.


I hope that whatever decision you make is the one for you, you could always adopt if you didnt want to go through the trauma of a preganancy, there are so many children that need love, and also you wouldnt get the PND.

SeaThreePeeOSeaThreePeeO
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
I have to say I found the pregnancy and the baby bit harder then the first time, but I have found the toddler stage a lot easier. I don't know whether that's because I have been through it before or I have become lazier!

crystalpaulacrystalpaula
posted 9 years 2 weeks ago
hi i have my son kenny who is three and my daughter is two all i can say i wish i left longer between but they both play together and sometimes fight but they are pretty close they both play with simillar toys but i suffer from depression still and it can be a challenge but i have two beautiful children and i adore them Smile

LihraLihra
posted 9 years 1 week ago
I think most peope will agree with this.. If you are having doubts then maybe it's not the right time. Maybe you can consider this again in a couple of months. As you are def conserned...

I have a 2yr old and a 7mnth old (was twins).

I was so scared and still am i find it easier in the sence that you know what you are doing but harder in that running around after a two yr old and now a 7mnth old thats crawling is not fun as much as i love my girls i wish i had left a slightly bigger gap. Next child will not be for at least another 3yrs...

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