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Isolated??

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I dont know if any other mums feel it aswell but sometimes i feel so isolated, i only know 2 or 3 other mums where i live i go to a baby group/clinic but i find it quite clicky there and i just cant seem to break into the circle so whne im there a few of the other mums are meeting up and going to the park with their babies together and they talk about it but i just cant seem to get on with them i dont know whether it cos im a bit younger than them and im single i dont know i feel like it can be whether im being stupid or not i dont know. I just would love to get to know more mums near where i live so my daughter can have more interaction with other children as i havent got izzy into nursery yet and i hear alot of them have a waiting list and i dont know what ones are good and not i keep hearing mixed reports.

i just feel so isolated and alone half the time this is really the only other place i get to talk to other parents but im not getting izzy the interaction with other children.


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AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I know exactly how you feel hun. Keep trying with the toddler groups (I think they are all clicky) Has your church got any open morning type things were anyone can drop in? Ours does a coffee tuesday in the Hall and anyone is welcome(you dont have to go to church) and welcome is how you are made to feel. As for nursery etc I don't understand the English system very well, you would be better asking someone locally.


Hug

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I kinda can feel what you mean, especially having just moved far away from my 2 best friends Sad and their kids... Mikes got lots of friends and have been meeting more, but I haven't really developed any close friendships with anyone there yet.. .except with Mike and Amber Rolling Eyes I haven't really clicked with any of the moms of Aaralyn's classmates yet... hopefully will though.

This is why I have so much time on here too, I feel like I've made good friendships on here with people who's lives pretty much revolve around their children... I'm ok with that, you guy's are some cool people Thumbs Up

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 7 months ago
the local church does do some parenting morning thing but i live in a small village and have heard conflicting opinions on it thats it very bitchy. i travel 4 miles into the town near where i live to go to baby group but ill really love izzy to have more children to socialise with & me to have some other mums to take izzy to the park with or feed the ducks with etc

jrich83jrich83
posted 9 years 7 months ago
hi, Im in the same situation i dont have a right good family bond so when my husband goes to work thats it for adult interaction it just me and ellie.

Although i love it been with ellie i miss having sum1 to talk to.

Ive just joined n8 college to get me out of the house and meeting new people. i have only got to baby classes once and hated it even though im never short of stuff to say i am quiet to begin with and queit shy in unfamiliar places.

Your not on your own and if your ever fancing a chat im here.

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 7 months ago
thanks hun i try to come on when i can but sometimes i cna only get on facebook or msn as that the only things my fone will let me log into at the moment its only when i come to my mums i get net connection

i see my parents most days but my mum moans i spend too much time there and then when i dont she moans i dont see her so i cant win i get on ok with my mum but sometimes i find she criticises me and what im doing with izzy. im not with izzys dad anymore so i dont have that second person when izzy is playing up as he lives 160miles away now with his parents so he has izzy for 7-10days but its not always every month it depends on who can afford to take/pick her up from the other one. i work weekends so i do get some adult interaction but sometimes i get alot of abuse in my job from passengers and its like why are you giving me abuse for just doing my job

cherrycherry
posted 9 years 7 months ago
All toddler groups are clicky, all new mums there feel exactly like you, you just have to invite yourself along, or invite someone to your house for lunch if they break away. Just think of it as showing your daughter how to make friends. It is really hard at first but very worth it, i now have a really good network of friends with kids the same age as mine, I hated it at first. Hug

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I felt very much like this after I had Summer. My friendships changed with my old friends and it became much harder to fit my new routine in with theirs as they didn't have kids. I would sometimes act like "I don't care I'm fine" but other times I would just feel like there was no-one on my level in my life, no-one in the same place as me and I felt so so lonely. After I had my second,Denis, I started to come to terms more with motherhood. Now Summer is in Reception at school I have talked to other mums alot more and made friends with a couple of her friend's mums. I even realise that at the toddler group I go to with Denis I probably am one of those mums in a 'click' whereas when I used to take Summer there I was on the outside looking in.
I hope you start to feel better soon and in time I'm sure you will find some really nice mummy friends

Hayley_KevHayley_Kev
posted 9 years 7 months ago
i used to take ethan to 2 different parent and toddler groups - but like u sed, they were very clicky and very bitchy. i was welcomed in the '2 faced gang' but i didnt like the conversations - they wer either slaggin the other mums there off or talking about their bedroom antics - yeh sometimes its a life but theres a time and a place, not 9am on a monday morning!! i ended up packing it in!

i then joined one closer to me, and its brilliant! the people there are great and we all get on really well - we have mums nights out on the town every now and then and iv made some really good friends there.

keep looking around and there will be one thats just right. i know its for out LO's to socialise, but if your not enjoying it, they wont either hun.

angelsmomangelsmom
posted 9 years 7 months ago
its the same here, i have 2 mum friends about my age with kids about caseys age and we go 2 groups together, we are probably bit clicky too but we have and do welcome others in to our conversations.

ive been to groups without them and felt extremely out of place, i even left in tears once. i was pregnant at the time so it wasnt like i didnt have a conversation starter.

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 7 months ago
ive been going to this group now for about a year so its not like im new there anymore. i try and make conversation with the other mums and some weeks i can have a good conversation with a couple of them and other weeks theyll hardly say anything at all to busy about there conversations at what they all did at someones birthday party etc.

i go so izzy can ahve the social interaction with some of the other children but there are a couple of children there that will just snatch toys out of other childrens hands and their mothers just ignore it which winds me up aswell cos if izzy does it i will tell her off take the toy she snatched off the other child and give it back to the child she took from so she will learn not to do that.

HighlandPixeHighlandPixe
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I know exactly how you feel Elle. Since moving my circle of friends has gone from 2(not huge) to zero! It is really hard being the new mum at these things, i feel like im not on there wave length, they are (mostly) married,older,profesionals and not like me,student struggling financially. So it sort of puts you off. Last time i went this mum was talking about her yearly 3 week holiday in the Bahamas and how she was "bored" of it. While i was excited about my student loan coming in, all £400 quid of it. But at uni all the students (they are only 18!!!) just want to get wasted and shag each other,been there......
But i have decided that i WILL go tomorow and make an effort.
Wish me luck!

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 7 months ago

HighlandPixe said:
I know exactly how you feel Elle. Since moving my circle of friends has gone from 2(not huge) to zero! It is really hard being the new mum at these things, i feel like im not on there wave length, they are (mostly) married,older,profesionals and not like me,student struggling financially. So it sort of puts you off. Last time i went this mum was talking about her yearly 3 week holiday in the Bahamas and how she was "bored" of it. While i was excited about my student loan coming in, all £400 quid of it. But at uni all the students (they are only 18!!!) just want to get wasted and shag each other,been there......
But i have decided that i WILL go tomorow and make an effort.
Wish me luck!


good luck Smile

HighlandPixeHighlandPixe
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Thanks Hun,
The only problem is i pretty lazy in the morning,oops! so i will have to set alarm to make sure i get up and NOT get sucked into DNA results on Jeremy Kyle, the show is awful but worringly addictive!!!

claire2711claire2711
posted 9 years 7 months ago
i put my hands up Clapping i too am a jeremy kyle addict!!

come on all of ya....own up!!! Cool

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago

claire2711 said:
i put my hands up Clapping i too am a jeremy kyle addict!!

come on all of ya....own up!!! Cool


I wish I could be a Jeremy Kyle addict- I got to work Sad

staceybstaceyb
posted 9 years 7 months ago
- My blog
i know how you feel hun. i moved to yorkshire 5yrs ago 300 miles from where im originally from, so i have no family here, except james and the kids (of course lolol) ive not made any 'friends' i do talk to some other mums but thats it. i dont go to anyones house and have coffee or vice versa and at times i do feel very isolated.

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 7 months ago
yeah i know what your saying i didnt get to go to the clinic when izzy was newborn as they thought she had chicken pox when she was about 4-5wks old and that lasted 4 wks so i had to be in isolation and then by teh time she was well enough to go we had moved 160miles away to stoke-on-trent & the only people i knew up there were all students & didnt have kids and izzys dads family & i didnt really go out to baby clinics up thereso i kinda secluded myself up there and made myself unhappy which in turncontributed to my relationship breaking up so by the time i moved back and i did go to clinic izzy was like 7 months old so all the circles had been formed by mums who had been going since there babies were newborn

HighlandPixeHighlandPixe
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hi Girls,
Missed toddlers yesterday(slept in!) but decided to go to group at Uni it starts at 1pm so have no excuse not to make it, everyone really nice but again all older than me, they hadn't even heard of bebo or myspace Shocked LOL so im guessing i wont be hitting the pubs doing tequila slammers any time soon! Myabe a tea and pancake AND my son was like "can we go home mummy?"
Will i ever meet like minded mums who still want to dance like an idiot on a saturday night???The search continues..............

ellee1984ellee1984
posted 9 years 7 months ago
hehehe highlandpixe im the same maybe not for the tequila gimme a vodka & ill be happy hehe see if u was closer we could hit the clubs one night LOL

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