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second time around.......and lonelly

sammymumof2sammymumof2
posted 9 years 11 months ago
I already have a daughter who is nearly 5, and in may had my little boy ryan, absolutely great pregnancy&Birth, I went through a period of always wanting to cry after he was born which I got over.........but over the last month I just feel so lonelly and sad all the time, I love my kids soooooo much but feel that im not in control of my life anymore...... When people ask if i'm okay i just want to cry , and sometimes do, I just feel lost in my own life and dont know what to do, My H/V has been to see me a couple of times, we chat, she leaves, and I feel worse!! Just dont know what to do Crying


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Hayley_KevHayley_Kev
posted 9 years 11 months ago
crying after the birth of a baby is normal hun! baby blues do they call it? i had i for a few weeks after ethan,they say its all your hormones suddenly coming back to reality an it takes its toll on your body - iv also been told us who have boys get it more than those who have girls! dont know how true it is as im yet to have a little girl LOL!

have you spoke to your HV about post-natal depression? you may be fine with baby and everything but it can hit people in different ways hun, like with you,again it could just be all your hormones going off on one?

speak to your HV or DR and let us know how things go x

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 11 months ago
Have you anyone else to talk to - or is it possible to just drop the kids off at a parents and just go out with a friend/partner? It does help just have a little time away from them from time to time. Even just going out for lunch for an hour can mean you can come back with a fresh mind.

I found it hard after having my 2nd - although everyone seems to tell you it is easier the second time around! Although you have the know-how it is twice as hard to get out and twice as much attention to give! I had the baby blues with George a million times worse than with Charlotte and felt so over-whelmed.

Do tell someone how you feel, I eventually poured my heart out to a good friend and felt better for that straight away - take care hun xx

sammymumof2sammymumof2
posted 9 years 11 months ago
Thanks for your response's, sorry havent been back on here, to be honest havent really felt like it.
I have spoke to my HV, shes really nice, and very understanding, she's been visiting me at home over the last couple of months a couple of times, and I feel better whilst she is here and we can talk then after she has left I feel worse.......... I thought over time i'd feel better but i've been feeling worse than ever. Wednesday was the worst day ever, I cried all day till I had no tears left.....I phoned my HV to talk cos I just wanted to be 'away from it all', I was such a strong person b4 children now i'm useless, not in control of my own life and at the end of my tether, She made me an appointment to see a docter, who on thursday I went to see (a man), he was horrible to me, said it was like extracting teeth getting anything from me, I flew of the handle,then he asked me to answer a dozen stupid questions........then he said ill prescribe you some pills take them for a month then come back.
I feel so sad and angry at everything, i just want to scream.
Kev (partner of 7 1/2yrs) has been doing what he thinks is his best, but that makes me angry too, I have no family that I can ask for help, and no friends that I can weigh down with my probs as i've always been there shoulder to cry on.
its taken me ages to type this, If anyone is reading this i'm sorry that it goes on, I just hope these pills get me back to the person I was, i just want to be me again.

Hayley_KevHayley_Kev
posted 9 years 11 months ago
hi hun... what was it the doctor gave you? wasit some form of anti-depressants? but if he wasnt what you expected id see another doctor if i were you - or is there a nurse there?
hopefully these pills hes give you will pick you up but you need to feel better yourself - not with the help of some pills cuz as soon as the doctor stops them you could be back to square one again.
if you really dont think theyre helping,get someones else opppinion - ask if they can get in touch with a (i cant think what theyre called!) someone who will listen to everything thats eatin you up inside - maybe that will help...

is it a case of you haveing nobody to talk to about problems hun - or is it that your lonely and need adult company a few times a week?

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 11 months ago
Hey hun, sorry to hear it didn't go well with your doctor. Is it possible to get in touch with your HV again and see if she can refer you to someone else?

Give the pills some time to work too, don't write them off too soon. As for you being your friends shoulder to cry on - maybe it's time they returned the favour for you hun.

Take care hun, don't be hard on yourself for feeling like this! It seems to me you have bottled everything up because you feel bad for being unhappy, like you sould be able to cope? Thinking of you, and we are always here for a chat if you need to vent Hug

sammymumof2sammymumof2
posted 9 years 11 months ago
Still feeling like s Angry t, but saw my h/v at clinic this morning and had a little chat which was good, after lunch had an appointment with a poiesis counsellor at my doc surgery, that was really tough going, and I feel even more drained since, the pills which the doc prescribed last thursday are (citalopram), I started taking them on saturday, was told it can take up to 6 weeks to start working.....hopefully will be sooner though.
Have never in my life felt this bad, & feeling not in control is awful, The counsellor did a questionaire PHQ9 - mine was 22, she has assured me that she will have me back to normal in no time!!i hope so Frustrated Frustrated

bunnigirlbunnigirl
posted 9 years 11 months ago
hope u get back to normal soon babe thinking of u hunni
xxx

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