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Seeking some advice after 2 IVF failed cycles.

BLeon1221BLeon1221
posted 3 months 1 week ago
Hello my name is Brenda, two years ago I was diagnosed with bad ovarian reserve. Me and my husband went to see an specialist after a year of failing at getting myself pregnant. I am a little ashamed of admitting I didnt did much research to keep a tight control on my cycle and almost didnt prepare my body for it. I was quite ignorant at the time as while I did liked the idea of having a family with my husband I never thought about nor really understood all which entailed. It wasn’t until six months of failing that I began to keep a good check on my cycle and the such. After a year me and my husband went to an specialist and we did some test, just like I already mentioned the doctor told me I had a low ovarian reserve.
The news was really bad for me and my husband. While he tried to keep calm and supportive I couldnt help but though he blamed me, when in truth it was me who was blaming myself. I really blamed me for being unable to give my husband the baby he wanted, I couldnt help but think my body was wrong, that all of this wouldnt be happening if my body was right. During that time my husband was a great support, he really tries his best to keep me calm and help me to not give up. In the ovarian reserve test which I went through revealed that while my chance of getting pregnant through IVF was low, it want impossible. Me and my husband had been through two unsuccessful IVF cycles and me and my husband are thinking about surrogacy or egg donation. While I understand what those procedures include I would like some more personal opinions. Which of the two, based on experience would any of your recommend?


Alice2321Alice2321
posted 3 months 1 week ago
Hi Brenda welcome to this forum. Your story seems like it was a hard one and Im sorry that I cant help you nor give you any advice. I am still on an early stage in TTC so still think I can conceive through normal means. Also I must say I really feel inspired because of your story. You and your husband went through a lot and the two manage to keep going forward together. I must say I am happy you two manage to work things out as I hear there are cases in which the couple grows apart im happy to see that it wasn't the case for your and your husband seem to have instead grow closer together. I wish you the best and I know you will eventually achieve your dream.

About information, I know of a clinic as I been searching for information for a friend so feel free to check the post. I think do have the procedures you need.

BLeon1221BLeon1221
posted 3 months 1 week ago
Hello Alice thank for the welcome and for your kind words. I am really glad too, my husband has been quite a big support to me during all this time and I also tried my best to support him the best I could. My husband also got afraid and the such, so I also needed to help him and cheer him up. I also read your other post and I also have read the name of that clinic I have also heard good things and is definitely in my list in case I decide to go through either Egg donation or for surrogacy still doing some research as I would really like it if next time we give it a try I manage to get pregnant and finally began my husband and I dream of having a family.

maggie444maggie444
posted 3 months 3 days ago
I think IVF with donors egg will be a good option for you. I am sorry to hear about what you have been through, but at the same time it is so relieving to hear that your husband has been a great support through everything.

janetRjanetR
posted 3 months 3 days ago
Nothing makes me more happy than knowing a woman has the support of her husband. It's a very positivesign going forward with the IVF procedure. You do need his support to be stress free during the procedure.

sam_02sam_02
posted 3 months 3 days ago
Glad to see that you are staying calm through all this and yes, when you have your husband's support, going through these medical procedures becomes stress free. From what I know, there are clinics and laws that allow surrogacy if it is proved that you cannot carry a child. So, maybe you want to first check that with your clinic and the country that you have planned to get your treament done with.

maggie444maggie444
posted 3 months 3 days ago
I agree with others here have got to say. It depends on the laws of that country and also whether you are able to carry a child. I wish you all the best with your decision. I hope you get the right treatment

janetRjanetR
posted 3 months 3 days ago
I had a friend who had a similar issue and opted for DE IVF. And I feel very happy to tell you that she did conceive and is happy now with heer husband and kids

Fredia79Fredia79
posted 3 months 3 days ago
I think it also depends on the doctors and the clinic where you are being treated. Success rates of the clinics differ and I believe it is because of the skill and may be knowledge. I think with the right clinic and the right doctors, your DE IVF can yield positive results.

sam_02sam_02
posted 3 months 3 days ago
Friedia puts it right! See a good consultant and make you sure you choose the right clinic. Failed IVF attmepts does not just tell about your situation it also tells a lot about the clinic where you had your first IVF done.

BLeon1221BLeon1221
posted 3 months 2 days ago
Hello Maggie, first of all let me thank you for your kinds words. I know very well I am quite blessed to having him in my life. I have heard stories of some men not able to withstand this kind of situations and they end up finishing their marriage and leaving the women. But I dont personally agree with that kind of behavior it does make me appreciate what my husband does for me even more. Also yeah, I think egg donation is my first choice in my next attempt as I think I will leave surrogacy as my last option. Once again I appreciate your good wishes and I wish you well too.

BLeon1221BLeon1221
posted 3 months 1 day ago
Hello Sam and Janet I really appreciate the support and your kind words I truthfully didnt expected to recieve so many kind words and I want to apologize for not thanking you before but I had been quite busy. First of all Janet I totally agree with you, having my husband around really ease me up and It has allowed me to deal with this situation in a way I never really expected before. Right when I learned about my condition I was totally freak out and I am ashamed to admit I did treat him poorly because at that moment I didnt knew how to deal with all the sadness. I was genuinely surprised he didn't snap back at me as I did deserve a good slap on the face. Instead he began to reassure me all will be okay and help me through the news of this two unsuccessful IVF cycles. Also sorry if it looks like im bragging im just really proud of him, that is why I also try support him when he need me, is my way of repaying him for all the kind words and the nice gestures he had with me during this time.

Also Sam yes some acquaintances did mention the laws of surrogacy and I can understand why they are so strict. I didnt knew at the beginning though and some people around me asked me why I was wondering about surrogacy and if I was suffering an extra condition which make me unable to safely carry a child. I dont have anything like that, even my doctor tells me to go more likely for egg donation as so far there isnt any reason to think I can safely carry a child. I am seeking about information as more of a just in case scenario. Also I understand the concern about the place and the people who does the treatment. While I would lying If I were to say I dont want a baby right now. I am trying to keep myself in a calm state and take my time to do my research about places and the treatments. I dont want to rush into anything. Once again I thank you two for your kind words and Janet I thank you for sharing your friend case It really makes me feel relieved and hopeful.

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