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What happened? In love.. then nothing!?

irishyeatsirishyeats
posted 1 year 8 months ago
A girl i knew years ago but we lost touch, contacted me last april, added me on FB. We talked and talked every day, she messaged me all the time, it was great. Feelings grew and we got together in august, it was amazing, I loved her so much, it felt so right. She chased me very hard for these months. She has a child and goes to college so her life is hectic and it makes her stressed, she has a history of meds and had a breakdown before, she tries her best, I work nights so we knew it would be hard but we would be fine, it would be worth it. After two months, we argued over silly things online when talking on mail on FB, she became distant and colder to me, pulling away almost. I could see it and it was killing me. Her past relationships have all been bad and her previous one was her worst she said, he beat her and stole from her, done a lot. She said she was so happy to find a good decent genuine man, she said so much about a future etc.. I paid for a holiday for her bday and the days we went away she was cold to me still, my friends seen it and one said it to her, she got angry at me thinking I told them our business. We got home and we talked for days but 3 days later I told her I loved her we would sort this out and be fine..she replied with she did not see us working, we did not gel together and we rubbed each other the wrong way, she was so so sorry to do it over mail and that she felt this way as I was a good man I did nothing wrong and it upset her but she could not help it. I was upset. We talked for weeks after on and off and in Dec I mailed her to talk, we decided it best we delete each other on FB for both of us to heal. She said she was sorry again and I did not deserve her and how she treated me. I had a present bought for her child for xmas, I promised her so I asked her could I send that on still I did not want to let her kid down she said sure and she really appreciated it. She text me a week later to say thanks for the gift she got it and she did appreciate it. That was our last chat on snapchat.. in December before xmas. I noticed we were still friends on snapchat since until last week she deleted me, is this gone for good you think? I did nothing to her and she said so, I was the most genuine decent man she ever met, I know it hurt her too, she said so, she had sleepless nights after it and she said her life is so busy with her kid and college she has little time to think about things but she said maybe one day it will hit her and she will have a breakdown, I told her she will not and keep going and she will do great in college and she is a great mother, I wished her the best. I do love her but i know her and she is stubborn and independent. Maybe I just gotta let go i know but when you love someone. She told me after it ended when we spoke I had to see what others always see in me, I need to get myself happy and I am almost there.. it made me think, she knew I suffered for years with self esteem, I had got very heavy in weight and just never felt good enough, funny enough I lost 4 stone while with her, she made me so happy I could do it.


morgoodiemorgoodie
posted 1 year 8 months ago
I am so sorry about what you have and are going through. I know being in love with someone is not easy and it leaves you vulnerable. My last relationship was great until I had children with him and then I found out the true nature of him. To me, it sounds as though she may not have had as strong of feelings as you had for her. It is so hard to know without knowing both sides of the story but maybe you are better off without her and the way she treated you. No one deserves to be treated that way and if she did not have those feelings for you she should not have lead you on. Honesty is so important in a relationship and without there can be no relationship. Having a hectic life is not an excuse for treating you in such a way and if she did not have time for a relationship then she should not have encouraged one. I know it is hard to deal with and I am not sure that I can tell you what you should do. You just have to take it one day at a time and try to move forward without holding out hope that she will be back in your life. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find the answers you are looking for.

irishyeatsirishyeats
posted 1 year 8 months ago
Thank you for your reply and I am sorry to hear what you have been through. It is not easy. It was my first relationship in years as I took care of my mum and she passed away in 2013 so I had to learn to start a life for myself then. I live alone. She mailed me and contacted me. That is what I struggled with, she poured herself onto me, told me everything, how she would never hurt me and to let her in, I did. I fell in love with her and she just dumped me to one side so cold. It was so hard to handle and I do struggle with it. Its the words you are left with in your mind afterward, was it all a lie? all the nice things she said, she wanted a future with me, she spoke about it, it was all so great for 2 months then it just changed.

Maybe I will never know for sure but she is the honest type, she is straight and she told me she was sorry she got into a relationship with her life being as it was and it was not fair on me to be dragged into that, she did feel remorse over that. You are just left with so much self doubt. Despite her acting badly toward me I never hated her, still I do not. Life eh?

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